Saturday, November 20, 2010

9. Surviving a Person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder


What are some other warning signs of a person suffering
from NPD?
Some of the symptoms include....

*Two-facedness
- (This is a hard one because so many people
  in our society have this issue, but you'll see it in excess here.)
  -Constantly talking about other people (who aren't present) in
  disparaging ways, and feigning sincerity and affection to their face.
  -Expressing different motives for something depending on who
  they're talking to.
  -Pretending a conflicting sentiment was merely misinterpreted
 
*Indirectness
  -Refusal to commit
  -Using 'an article I read' or 'I heard someone say' as means for
    discouraging or discrediting others
  -Letting facial expressions or lack of response send their message
  -Leading you to think what they want rather than ask for it
  -Deflection
  -Claiming lack of memory or lack of knowledge to avoid conflict

*Changing the Rules
  This could be all manner of things; just a handful are...
  -Wavering on a position regularly, depending on something they heard
    or a specific person feeling differently
  -Rationalizing and excusing behavior
  -Using another tactic to manipulate you when the first doesn't work
 
* Covert activities
  -Avoiding answering questions
  -Secrets
  -Sneakiness
  -Generally keeps friends, family, acquaintances far away from
one another to avoid notes being compared

*Lofty promises
  -It's easy to make promises and win affection by doing so. There's no
rule that says you have to follow through. Promises--or pretend interest--
such as "Let's talk about this later" or "We'll get together and do that soon."
Again, a normal thing to do, but this is constantly employed as a means of
deflecting from responsibility in the present or convince the other person
of intimacy that isn't coming.

*Distractedness
-NPDs have so much going on inside that they are
constantly preparing and speculating and planning. They may consider
themselves expert multi-taskers, but you will catch them day-dreaming,
zoning out, forgetting things, absent-minded, etc.

* Fanaticism
- NPDs tend to get involved 'all-or-nothing' in new
projects, friends, ideas, dreams, etc. that seem to come out of left field.
They may restructure their whole schedule or life around something on
a whim, be only capable of speaking about it, and then at some point
down the road just as quickly drop it...usually when a new source pops in.

* Physically intimidating
-The NPD has mastered the art
of manipulation down to knowing what facial tics and posture will
likely get them what they want. They seek to control through;]
  -Strutting
  -Disgusted sneers
  -Eye rolling
  -Checking a watch or cell phone while someone speaks
  -Dismissive, unconcerned posture
  -Turning back on you or walking away while you speak
  -Deeply penetrating glares/raised brows that incinerate you

Narcissists want what they want when they want it, and will really
do pretty much anything to achieve that goal. They may switch
between multiple tactics in one small discourse, such as starting out
the deception of a compliment to get you to do them a favor, then
expressing disgust when you mention that you already have plans,
then turning to body language to intimidate, and promise you some-
thing they have no intention of delivering on.

(Or, the ultimate trick of an NPD, they will intimate that they will
withdraw from you as a result of not getting their needs met.)

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