Odious and Erroneous: The Mind Compares

We live under a microscope in our media-heavy, constant-barrage
world...and it isn't for the weak of heart.

With all the scrutiny and proliferation of images and ideas, we're
all likely to find ourselves guilty of comparing our lives to the lives
of others. Or at least what those lives look like on the outside!

Because we're hurting, struggling, and afraid, we can assume we're
'not doing it right.' Because we look at the illusion other people
maintain. 'Fronting' is common amongst everyone--especially
the wealthy, who know that attitude and psychological intimidation
are means of winning the game--by throwing others off theirs.

But you can never assume you know someone's real situation.

Everyone keeps their cards close to the vest; image and
illusion are a part of the game. Pretending to do well carries
the same weight as actually doing well (in the eyes of the world,)
and appearing less vulnerable is a common, smart sttrategy.

But it's that very habit of comparing what others appear to
be doing (against our jaded view of our own capabilities) that
brings on trouble. Often without even realizing it, those of us
with mental health issues buy into the world's notion that we
are less than, incapable, repugnant, don't measure up, and all
other manner of negative tripe.

Those attitudes are so pervasive that we end up taking
them on as our own, refusing to question them...refusing
even to be able to see ourselves objectively. It's good to clear
the baggage in our heads and refocus on what is true, without
emotion and assumption and jealousy fogging our minds.

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Flu Smarts: The New Interpersonal

When it comes to staying healthy,

anything goes!

So much for Cosmopolitan lifestyles and

being Kissy-Poo everywhere you go.

Restrain yourself, girls and boys...

and Live to glad-hand another day.

Right now?
No more kissing,

no more European kissing (cheek to cheek!)

no more handshakes,

no more whispering in the ear,

no more sharing drinks,

no eating off plates,

no sharing head phones,

no passing electronic devices back and forth,

and so on.

Take the basics--

no contact with unclean or potentially unclean

surfaces--and expand it into every arena

of your normal everyday life...where you might

not ordinarily consider the depth of a

threat being found.

ANY CONTACT IS POTENTIALLY

HAZARDOUS; Don't be complacent.

Push doors open with your back,

or use a rag or handkerchief

exclusively for that.

Anyone worth knowing will see it for what it is;

conscientious action. Those that can't see that

aren't worth worrying about.

***

Flu Smarts: Hidden Threats

So, you're concerned about getting sick and you go to the

doctor's office...the place where all the already sick

people have been congregating !!!

Make sure you wear gloves and a face mask

( your prime concern is to stay healthy and alive,

not worry over image and aesthetics ) and

don't sit near anyone else.

(Again; your welfare is paramount; don't worry

about hurt feelings.)

Open your mouth to speak (even with the

mask on) as infrequently as possible.

Even with the gloves on, don't put your

hands to your face. Surface still carries.

Stay away from the magazines and newspapers;

paper is one of the most absorptive of

substances, and those sick fools tend to sneeze

into the pages!!

Take your bleach counter-top wipes and your

hand sanitizer with you. You're not being

overly-concerned; others refraining from doing all they

can are being under-concerned.

Bring your own pens so you don't have to touch

the 'Community Pens' that everyone else has handled.

As usual, think ahead...

and PREPARE.

Your mind is your best defense against illness.

***

Flu Smarts: What good is washing hands?

What you don't see can hurt you.

Everyone seems to think they're invulnerable, long

after the defiance of childhood and lack of experience

has gone away.

People wonder what real good washing hands does?

Well, if we do it regularly, with plenty of soap, and

spend a reasonable amount of time on it....

if we are careful to use a paper towel to open

and close bathroom doors and turn on faucets,

and if we use hot water, it can be a very effective

way of keeping the flu virus at bay.

The current flu virus can last outside the human

boy up to 8 hours. EIGHT hours. That means if you

walk into an empty office, don't be falsely lulled;

the germs of all the nasty, unconcerned people from

the prior 8 hours of activity are accumulated on

every surface of a room, waiting to attack.

That's a long time.

The HIV virus only lasts outside the body about an hour,

and that's if it's in a bodily fluid that was released. But the

flu? 8 hours on its own. Tough guy.

Don't give it one single opening or excuse to

get hold of you. It only takes one exposure to get sick.

***

Flu Smarts: Mind your Hands!

We do it so automatically that it's a tough habit to break.

People put their hands to their face a thousand times a day;

adjusting glasses, rubbing a nose, wiping a lip,

PUTTING A PEN TO YOUR MOUTH,

scratching an eye, wiping away sweat, and so much more.

But in cold and flu season, an innocuous momentary

action can bring a world of pain.

Our orifices--eyes, nose, mouth--are portals of

entry for disease, and very absorptive tissue.

It will take some doing, but resist automatically

putting your hands near your face before

thoroughly washing them. (And limit it even then.)

It's the same as putting your face on everything

your hands have touched!!

***

Acceptance of Perceived Limitations

If I were to clone myself

(repeatedly, even,)

speed up my response time,

improve my IQ,

and find a way to squeeze out

another ten hours in a day....

Were I able to eliminate the need

for food, sleep, and other pedestrian

distractions...

I would still likely never

'catch up' or accomplish

everything on my 'To Do' list!

Because it's in the nature of

humans to forever be expanding

our reach to match increased

range or resources.

(Look at how Lottery winners

who were bankrupt quickly

spend enough to exceed their new

grasp and wind up in the exact

same situation!)

Life is not about 'completion,'

but rather striving.

Constant flow...ingress,

egress, regress...

(And anyone who puts forth

the notion that they're pulled together,

perfectly content, and have done

all that they intended--I'll

point out to you a damned liar!)

***

Invisible Shackles

There is tremendous frustration in living with pain.

Not only is there the practical side of coping with this
invisible affliction, which is often not accompanying an
external wound (which would make it easier to process,
but there are terrible psychological components as well.

It's hard to locate it, or point it out on x-ray or scans.
It's hard to describe accurately--or adequately--to folks.
Treatment is typically guesswork, and ends up being in-
effective or producing equally bad side-effects.

It's invisible to others and therefor easy to second-guess
or dismiss, despite the ongoing diminished quality of life
and restrictions it places on a person coping with the pain.

In attempting to be normal and carry their weight, impress
or please others and not feel so disabled, many of us will also
overdo it to keep up, and cause further problems as a result
of pushing ourselves too far.

People expect things of you and from you; men are
expected to engage in brute force and 'help lift things,'
even when known to have a bad back or bad knees.
Women are expected to be more capable of endurance
and perseverance. "Just push through it."

Responsibilities don't end nor does life take a time-out
in order to accommodate one's pain and restrictions.

Outer appearance for people dealing with debilitating
pain may be that of a healthy, capable person to the
outside, disinterested eye. Appearances can definitely
be deceiving, and most people have trouble differ-
entiating from what they assume and what is. (And most
don't care to start with.)

Keeping up with friends and activities is difficult when
you're run down, weak, low energy level, etc., and people
can even get nasty, taking it personally when you are
unable to do what you used to, or what 'someone your
age ought to be able to do.'

Peopl expect compliance; there is no no sympathy, nor wiggle room. They can label you lazy and apathetic, which
is psychologically hurtful on many levels. You can feel
abandoned, in addition to the personal lessened sense of
worth that comes from no longer being able to compete or 
measure up.

Like most things, it's difficult for others--including
professionals--to have empathy for something they
don't see or can't touch. It's hard to comprehend, to
wrap your mind around it.

It's also difficult for people to understand if they
themselves are not dealing with physical pain, or have
never had a bout with it in the past.

They can dismiss yours as psychological, imaginary, or even
plain weakness and laziness. On the worse side is people
thinking you're playing at it, making it up for sympathy
or financial gain.

There are millions of people dealing with pain on a daily
basis. After-effects of motor-vehicle accidents, workplace
falls and injuries, diseases, aging bodies, and more.

There are insidious diseases like MS, Epstein-Barr, arthritis,
Parkinson's Disease, cancer of bone and Fibromyalgia, vets
(and others) suffering from PTSD, and more. Even depression
can carry an extremely powerful physical pain component.

Then there are the issues of addiction to pain meds since
they are so powerful, and regulating is hard to do when
you are not in your right mind from having used them.

There's a lot of similarity between mistreatment of chronic
pain sufferers and that of mental illness folks. The lack
of empathy, the stigma, the invisibility--and therefore easily
dismissed nature--of the disease. We end up misunderstood,
maligned; you can be a pariah (people avoid what they don't
relate to or understand. They can also feel uncomfortable around
sickness, period.)

Hard to treat, mysterious affliction, no obvious outer signs
to make it clear, little coverage in media, feel invisible and
like your voice isn't being heard. But you're neither crazy,
alone, or imagining things.

Pain is real, and though we are alone in bearing it, we are not
the only ones who know the difficulties.

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