Suggesting help to an NPD immediately takes you off their
radar. Anything else you say after that is dismissed, because
all they hear is criticism and assault, no matter the sincerity
or lovingness of the concern.
To question them as being anything less than perfect is an
attack on the Self. They do not care that you freely admit
your own faults, or that all human beings are known to have
faults; they cannot accept anything less than the aggrandized
self they have created which is not subject to the condemnations
of their past or inner voice.
In the eyes of an NPD, you are very much either "For them or
against them."
Unlike people suffering from other socio/psycho/chemical
disorders, NPDs do NOT want you to see through to their
issue. They don't want their illusions busted. They don't want
their real selves or feelings noticed. They don't want assistance
offered. They do not want to be 'seen.'
An NPD is an artist who has carefully and calculatingly coordinated
an artifice that serves them well. They have studied people and
situations and moods and facts for a long time, and are able to
influence and alter moods and people from every angle. What could
a common person have to say of value to them?
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