3. Surviving Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Awareness is key to understanding an NPD, because the only
one you can save here is YOU.

Get out of any relationship with these people the minute
you realize what they are. (having said that; by the time you
have been around long enough to see through their spell, you
will have been thoroughly charmed and seduced, and find the
gravitational pull of their high energy lure difficult to escape.
They have a propensity for getting inside your wheel case;
figuring you out, giving you enough of what you want, and
taking advantage of your emotional discord are their strengths.)

It's ironic that even knowing how corrupt and even dangerous
someone is, it's difficult to escape the insidious appeal
of the effect they have on people.

Confronting them with the reality of what is happening, how
 you feel, how they have hurt you, how they are hurting
themselves, etc will not bring about change. The only means
of their improving is to see that they are doing wrong, admitting
 it, and seeking counseling with a qualified and experienced
therapist over time. That's not likely to happen with an NPD.

A complete transformation is unlikely, but there are some
general rules when it comes to an NPD seeing the need--and
possibility--for change. Another traumatic event, or a huge change
that causes attitudes and insights to alter (such as mid-life crisis,
religious overhaul, etc.) can give an NPD the genesis of desire to
change. But the work is long, slow, and excruciating. It shouldn't be
attempted alone--either without supports or professional help--but,
alas, even after an epiphany, NPDs are reluctant to share anything
with anyone. Without an objective outside eye, the NPD is still
at the mercy of their own warped perceptions and interpretations.

What does happen is that you have been thoroughly indoctrinated
by one of the most calculating and insightful minds on the planet.
 So you may start to;
-question your judgment
-question the actual turn of events as you recall them
-question why others aren't hip to the person's real story
-fear social stigmatization from separating from someone who has
  a stranglehold on the rest of a   mutual group of friends, community,
  family, etc.
-worry over the well-being of the NPD, even after he/she has
  continually shown themselves unconcerned  for you
-become full of self-doubt that you allowed yourself to be so used
and abused
-question that anyone anywhere is truthful, kind, real, or that integrity
exists
-feel foolish/humiliated/hurt that you could have fallen for their fake
  emotions and the relationship of lies
-have difficulty overcoming the brainwashing of how 'wonderful'
they are,   and how 'unimportant' you are without them
...and much more....