January Retreat Script (part Five)

There’s a difference between ego and self-esteem.

Ego (out of check) is rampant in this country. Esteem, however,
is not. Ego is pretense, posturing, defensiveness, impressing,….
esteem is peace, self-aware, contentedness, independence,.
Esteem is not needing to be in competition; it’s feeling good
about self, exactly as you are—which of course means knowing
who you are. Breaking past societal defenses and illusions usually
takes us til late in life when we start getting real, and worrying less
about attention, approval

We have to determine what our self-interest is, and stop identifying
through others’ notions reflected back at us.
How do you feel?
What do you want?

Learning to own your own space takes time and practice. Our
motivations should be internal, not external. Are we directors in
our own world, or spiraling at the mercy of others’ boldness?

We have to be active and aggressive, not passive in life. Allow
for our insights/abilities/understandings to be different and unique,
and still feel as proud and supportive of them.
Do others seem bigger and more important?
And, is that notion real or perceived?
Do another’s accomplishments diminish or thwart our own?
Do we self-sabotage by imagining that others don’t share the
insecurities, fears, and pain that we do?

Why are others able to speak thoughts, do what they want,
but we “can’t”?
Do we imagine a separate set of rules, while our self-con-
sciousness and resentment and attitude actually promote an
energy that shuts us down?

We are our own single most important asset; If we don’t
look out for self, then we are not fulfilling our goal and our
directive.
The world doesn't need victims or martyrs; goodness
doesn’t mean giving in to people in this world. We have the
ability to stand up for ourselves, to change our lives, if unhappy.

When we blame another, we relinquish control of our lives.
We give our power to others. We give up the pressure to decide
our own fate. When we want others to pay attention to and love
us, care for us, feel for us, we ask others to take on a job that isn’t
theirs; we give up responsibility. We manufacture dependence, and
thereby weakness.

Our emotional lacking and pain comes from not being connected
enough to ourselves, our needs, or life. When we accept
and love ourselves as we are, and fulfill our designation, we find peace.

Independence, self-sufficiency are not bad character traits.
They’re necessary to staying alive and find contentment.
We’re able to bring a whole person to our relations....
to be complete when alone.
Have the basis of every charitable act be genuine giving, not
receiving of attention, or impressing.

Being at peace with self leads to being at peace with others.
There can never be enough praise or attention to alleviate our
own low self esteem. Our sense of self must be acknowledged
from within. Even a belief in a truly loving god requires us accept-
ing the ultimate love, which means accepting ourselves.

EXERCISE:
Imagine walking into your home as if you were a stranger.
 What would your perception be?
Is it good enough?
What would you change?
Would you judge it if it were someone else’s home?
Why do you keep it the way you do?
Do you treat yourself as well as you would a loved one or stranger?
 If not…why?


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