Assumptions

Who told us to think the way we do?


Even after knowing that what we worry about hardly
ever comes to pass, why do we still hold to the
outdated and self-sabotaging ideas that persist in our
heads?


When we hear the phone ring, why do we tense
up and assume the worst?


When people say what their plans are, why do we
think they are wasting their time or doomed?


Our own hearts and minds seem determined to undermine
our own happiness or burden the day.


We don't see even a fraction of what is going on
in the world, and what we do see is filtered through our
ability to comprehend as well as our filters we have
from our limited understanding of our past experiences.


How can we possibly be so unctuous and presumptuous
that we think ourselves capable of comprehending the
make-up of the universe? That we can know what is in
the heart of another human being? That we can glean an
insight into the meaning of life? That we can select the most
accurate philosophy or interpretation of such things?


We imagine ourselves to be the first who will set right
all the yearnings and struggles that all people have had for
centuries. We will select the one true source, the one true
idea, the one perfect example. But perhaps all of this
starts with the assumption that such an absolute exists
in the first place.


Perhaps the human brain is better focused on not
thinking so much. Allowance. Acceptance. Taking
things at face value, even if it brings trouble. Release
of expectation and 'need to know.'

Less absolute, less dogma, less striving.
More contentment, more relaxation, more ephemeral.

There's only one way off the mudball, anyway, so
maybe we can just enjoy the ride, regardless of where
it goes and what it entails. Of course, I'm assuming
that we can change in time for it to matter.


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Introduction to Narcissistic Personality Disorder

No exploration of another's bad acts can be complete
without a fair dose of introspection also taking place.
We don't exist in a vacuum, and in the scheme of the
universe, we draw to us those who compliment our own
dark needs and desires. We play an integral part in who
inhabits our realm.


So, like most of life, there is need for personal responsibility
in who is drawn to us and what they do once there. This
is not an attempt to excuse bad behavior in the least; there
is no 'blaming the victim' as the rapist claims lack of remorse
because his target wore a short skirt.


People who take advantage of the weak and vulnerable
aspects of their fellow humans are not well. But they are
to be helped and overcome, feared and avoided...even
pitied and shown compassion. But our first duty is to self,
and the most important facet of knowing a person who
suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder is to understand
them in order to avoid being hurt by them.


Following the exploration of the machinations of an NPD,
there will also be investigation of what makes someone
vulnerable to them and open top being hurt by them.
Even more importantly, I'll look at how 'victims' can stop
being such and defend themselves from such attacks/incidents,
as well as how to recover from the experience.


************************************************

Who decides today's emotions?

*Everything maintains its own place and time.

*I choose to be happy with what is right, and ignore the rest,

or to focus on what is perceived wrong, and ignore the good.

*I choose whether or not to allow perceptions of others to distract

me from living my life.

*Today will occur as it does largely due in no part to my

machinations or attitudes, so it is in my best interest to

relinquish pain and resentment and find a means to be

at peace.

*There is no promise of happiness, and it is fleeting when it

visits. But the absence of happiness need not be despair. It

can just as easily be contentedness.

*While I work on being content, let me ponder what happiness

truly is:

-Is it dependent on how much money I maintain?

-Or who loves me--or doesn't love me?

-Is it based on my weight or age?

-Is it geographically induced?

If so, then perhaps I need to do a rethink or a restructure on

my views. I can make a choice to be as happy as I please,

based on no externals whatsoever. Then, I may take happiness

with me everywhere, never allowing circumstance to influence

me.

Identity

The searching most people do for identity is
a lifelong process. Many of us become entrenched
in a set pattern of behaviors and comfortable
ideas early on, and find the labels used to define
us very secure.

But to be truly alive and responding to the flow
of life, we find ourselves in conflict with old ideas
and old relationships. We discover that there
are things about us that don't work, and if we
are honest enough...bold enough....willing
enough...then we may be able to dig deeper.

Identity is not set in stone. We may change our
political, religious, sexual, romantic, or financial
outlooks as we mature and experience life.
Perspective offers opportunity to reevaluate and
grow.

But identity is not simply based on actions, ideas,
and associations. They make up aspects of identity,
but the tapestry is vast. Much of what influences
"who we are" is based on 2 very crucial elements;

A) What we believe we are capable of (in terms of
ability, courage, inspiration)

and
B) What we feel we are "allowed" to do (by society,
family, religion, work, spouse, internal restrictions
of 'conscience' and prior 'morality' lessons.

When we get to a point that we can question the authority
that keeps our desires in check, maybe then can we truly
begin to experience a taste of what our true selves are.
Or can become.

When we stop operating on fear, and learn that we
can't please everyone else, and our own unique spirit
needs to be listened to....that's a beginning.

No one else can live the life we were given to live.
No one else can access it but us. Happy hunting.

New Day Dawning

I keep my focus entirely on what I need to be doing today.

I am not concerned by others' opinions, worries, or needs.

My responsibility is to take care of myself. I must...
-communicate my needs
-take care of business
-maintain my emotional sobriety
-not become distracted by outside issues

If I am honest, calm, and kind, then all will be well.

There is no promise of anything this day;
Not assistance, not mercy, not respect, not ease, not life.
I am okay with the randomness and chaos of this world,
knowing that I can not change the majority of what occurs.

There is serenity in detaching from need.

I choose to disconnect from my neediness, my desires, my
anger, my fear. All my so-called problems (worry, fights,
lust, jealousy, hurt feelings) are a result of being overly
attuned to my baser emotions.

I will not have my life governed by emotions.