Friday, June 22, 2012

Dealing With Dementia part 2

(Things are changing quickly now...)
When encountering a loved one with dementia, learn to
just say "Okay."


Lose your need to be right.
Let go of the need to argue a point.
This is not a contest or a normal relationship.


The fight is not worth it.


What's difficult here is when the patient is a loved
one and there's an emotional component involved!
When a parent calls you a 'liar' or tells you you did
something which you didn't do, it can trigger old
hurts or push buttons.


It doesn't matter who's right. Remember what the
specifics of the situation are without saying anything
to the patient about it.


Pick your battles.


"Sure."
"You're right."
"Whatever you say."
"I'll get right on that."


Say you'll do something, even when you won't or it's
already been done. Trying to assert reality or get them
to recognize their forgetfulness are wastes of time and
energy.


Handle stuff on your own, however it needs to be handled.
No need to argue with a mentally ill person about the realities
or intricacies; they won't remember anyway.


Just appease them and then do what needs doing.
It's better to ask forgiveness than permission!
(As applies to situations where consent and involvement is
not necessary, naturally)


Help give information without being condescending.
For example, if I say "Well, good Thursday morning to you,
Mother! Do you have time to eat before your doctor's
appointment?" I have given four pieces of information to
help a waking patient establish their reality:
-Day of the week
-My relationship to them
-What's on the agenda
-That it's morning and time to eat


It may seem stilted, but this is superior to answering countless
questions, which also makes them feel self-conscious and
foolish. Every bit of empowerment you can give is helpful.


Overlook argumentativeness; it takes two to tango. It's
all about their anger at the situation...it isn't personal.

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