There is tremendous frustration in living with pain.
Not only is there the practical side of coping with this
invisible affliction, which is often not accompanying an
external wound (which would make it easier to process,
but there are terrible psychological components as well.
It's hard to locate it, or point it out on x-ray or scans.
It's hard to describe accurately--or adequately--to folks.
Treatment is typically guesswork, and ends up being in-
effective or producing equally bad side-effects.
It's invisible to others and therefor easy to second-guess
or dismiss, despite the ongoing diminished quality of life
and restrictions it places on a person coping with the pain.
In attempting to be normal and carry their weight, impress
or please others and not feel so disabled, many of us will also
overdo it to keep up, and cause further problems as a result
of pushing ourselves too far.
People expect things of you and from you; men are
expected to engage in brute force and 'help lift things,'
even when known to have a bad back or bad knees.
Women are expected to be more capable of endurance
and perseverance. "Just push through it."
Responsibilities don't end nor does life take a time-out
in order to accommodate one's pain and restrictions.
Outer appearance for people dealing with debilitating
pain may be that of a healthy, capable person to the
outside, disinterested eye. Appearances can definitely
be deceiving, and most people have trouble differ-
entiating from what they assume and what is. (And most
don't care to start with.)
Keeping up with friends and activities is difficult when
you're run down, weak, low energy level, etc., and people
can even get nasty, taking it personally when you are
unable to do what you used to, or what 'someone your
age ought to be able to do.'
Peopl expect compliance; there is no no sympathy, nor wiggle room. They can label you lazy and apathetic, which
is psychologically hurtful on many levels. You can feel
abandoned, in addition to the personal lessened sense of
worth that comes from no longer being able to compete or
measure up.
Like most things, it's difficult for others--including
professionals--to have empathy for something they
don't see or can't touch. It's hard to comprehend, to
wrap your mind around it.
It's also difficult for people to understand if they
themselves are not dealing with physical pain, or have
never had a bout with it in the past.
They can dismiss yours as psychological, imaginary, or even
plain weakness and laziness. On the worse side is people
thinking you're playing at it, making it up for sympathy
or financial gain.
There are millions of people dealing with pain on a daily
basis. After-effects of motor-vehicle accidents, workplace
falls and injuries, diseases, aging bodies, and more.
There are insidious diseases like MS, Epstein-Barr, arthritis,
Parkinson's Disease, cancer of bone and Fibromyalgia, vets
(and others) suffering from PTSD, and more. Even depression
can carry an extremely powerful physical pain component.
Then there are the issues of addiction to pain meds since
they are so powerful, and regulating is hard to do when
you are not in your right mind from having used them.
There's a lot of similarity between mistreatment of chronic
pain sufferers and that of mental illness folks. The lack
of empathy, the stigma, the invisibility--and therefore easily
dismissed nature--of the disease. We end up misunderstood,
maligned; you can be a pariah (people avoid what they don't
relate to or understand. They can also feel uncomfortable around
sickness, period.)
Hard to treat, mysterious affliction, no obvious outer signs
to make it clear, little coverage in media, feel invisible and
like your voice isn't being heard. But you're neither crazy,
alone, or imagining things.
Pain is real, and though we are alone in bearing it, we are not
the only ones who know the difficulties.
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