Dealing With Dementia

When you and a loved one's lives get turned on

their ear due to early onset dementia, everything changes.

The difficulties which arise can't be dealt with through

the same old responses; the entire relationship

shifts.

Nerves are on edge, personalities will (generally)

conflict more than ever before, and tempers are

short. Patience and calm are

easy to prescribe, but hard to maintain.

These are some of the tricks I have learned to

help make daily life easier.

Find tasks (within the person's capability range)

to do. Chores, invented tasks, or

busy work...it's all about keeping their mind and

body occupied and active.

It could be as simple as organizing recipes,

photo albums, clearing out old magazines--all

of which are also jobs that possibly reconnect

them as old associations are triggered.

These jobs give a sense of contribution and

participation to the patient, which becomes

increasingly important.

(Don't press the point when the patient expresses

frustration and inability; they are NOT the person

they were, and getting frustrated or

demanding will only worsen things. Do your grief

and denial work independent of your time with the patient.)

And of course, confronting them while

you're angry is never a good idea; they will not retain the

importance of the issue you're addressing, but the

upset will linger. Criticism is the least effective tool

with dementia patients.

Tasks are good for a sense of purpose,

accomplishment, and even connection with

the caregiver or family member.

Also, don't make a big deal out of your need

to 'take over' most or all of the household responsibilities.

Be matter of fact, very low key, even--where possible--

not even mentioning it.

If taking over the bills, make it seem like you

enjoy doing it and it's helping you out

by letting you do them. Don't ask; it just forces the issue.

Hide the bills, the checkbook; get the mail delivered to a

P.O. Box for safe-keeping if need be.

Avoid conflict wherever possible, and do so

by not making a big deal out of the changes taking place.

They already know what's going on on some level--

it's just unpalatable.

***

Mindfulness & Moderation: Gateways to Future Health

Decisions, decisions! (They matter!)

Sugary snacks, TV, movies, goofing off, eating out at restaurants,
deep fried foods, high fat content...all of these things are meant
only as occasional 'treats' (which is actually a misnomer since we
are definitely not treating ourselves by indulging in things which
are not to our benefit.

Instead, we moved to having big desserts every day. Sometimes
even multiple times per day...just as a 'reward' for things being
tough and life being hard. (Another bad result, say, of giving kids
sugar as a cure-all...when they have a tough day, do tasks they are
supposed to be doing anyway, or do well on a test.)

(To be fair, sugar is one of the most addictive substances.)

No avoiding it; this is BAD food!

We over-indulge.
We medicate.
There's no longer anything saved for 'special' occasions.
No desire goes unsated....no want unfulfilled.
We want what we want, when we want it.

Somewhere in-between absolute consumption and absolute
denial-and-repression-of-desires is a happy medium.

And I'm not denying life is a real Hump-buster sandwich-o-shit,
cuz it is. It's hard and unfair and painful and lonely and rough.
But instead of doing things that actually reinforce our strength
or replenish our needs when times are tough, we are a nation of
trained sheep who indulge in strokes that actually harm ourselves.

The key is to recognize the behavior, recognize what's behind the
behavior, be honest about the ramifications of the behavior, and
become mindful of what we do and why we do it.

Total comprehension and cognizance of every item ingested by my
body is my goal. Learning to cut ties to the childhood indoctrination
about portion size and clean plates is my need. Determining why I
feel compelled to eat--and stopping to consider that before acting--
is my effort.

I want to eat for the nourishment of my body, things that will keep
me in good health and alive. The minute and momentary emotional
and psychological component of devouring sweets and salty fats is
not worth the damage done to my body, which has to last my whole life.
(And, by the way, it is possible to eat well and still enjoy, even love
food!)

Using food to comfort emotions and retreat from a horrible day is
not an actual answer to problems, and in that momentary coddling
tactic, I am avoiding what is really wrong.

More importantly, I am taking an instant to create a problem
for myself that I will have to endure for some time to come.

Self-awareness is the start; self-love is the motivation.

**************************************************

Super Size Me

If you haven't seen this disturbing yet important film,

it is definitely worthwhile.

Everything Morgan Spurlock uncovered in

his documentary is not only still relevant,

but the obesity epidemic in America

has worsened.

Do yourself and your family a favor

and watch, so that the ramifications

of our dietary lifestyle can hit home.